Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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