he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
