I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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