I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
