How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
