Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
