The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
