so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
