I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm just crazy horny about you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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