I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize