Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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