Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
