He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
FUCK WHALES
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