im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize