Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
