he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
