My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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