I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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