Someone shit on the floor
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
