Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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