There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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