I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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