Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize