I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
