It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
