3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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