So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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