I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize