I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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