If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize