We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
