dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
