i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
