There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
