If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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