You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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