It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize