His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
