I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
