At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
