halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dick very happy bro
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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