He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
