im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
