Porn is love you can see.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize