I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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