Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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