you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
