Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
