Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
