i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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