if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize