my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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