I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
