Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Drunk is not a location!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
