Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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