How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
