Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You smell like a Billy Joel song
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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