I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
