READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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