It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
