Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
