why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
