we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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