Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize