I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
