just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
