Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my sisters under your porch take her home
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
