I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i've created a new STD.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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