Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
