Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
