Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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