K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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