We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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