just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
is it fun? or sober?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
