you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
