wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
PANTIES FOUND
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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