what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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