that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
