Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
