Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
