About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
