PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
