90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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