If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
