I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
